Whether we are raising boys, girls, one child or ten, toddlers or teens, all parents have this in common: once in a while we just need a break.
Some parents hide in the laundry room with their secret stash of chocolate (shh…don’t tell my family), some go for a drive, and others tweet about it and make the rest of us laugh and nod our heads in solidarity.
I’ve rounded up some very funny, sarcastic, and relatable quips about parenting that just make us feel we are not alone.
Enjoy!
Janene
#1 Every mom has to break out that voice at one time or another…
I spent my time making a home cooked meal and placed it in front of the kids who immediately asked for something different and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world and everyone ate their damn dinner.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 4, 2022
#2 Gotta love toddlers…
My 2yo literally told me what he wanted for dinner (hot dogs, tomatoes, grapes) went w me to the store to get it, scanned it at self check out BY HIMSELF, cut up the grapes, tomatoes and hot dog with his toddler knife, put it all on his own plate and then…refused to eat dinner.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 30, 2022
#3 Hey, that’s my superpower too!
my superpower is ruining my kids life by telling them to empty the dishwasher in between their schedule of doing nothing and nothing.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 16, 2022
#4 LOL…
My daughter turned 5 today. She is currently having a meltdown bc she “still looks 4”
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) February 7, 2021See Also40 Hilariously Relatable Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up ‘The Human Experience’25 Relatable Tweets Guaranteed To Cheer You Up39 Relatable Tweets About Being In A Long-Distance Relationship
#5 Kids do not forget ANYTHING…
asked my 5-year-old what she wanted for dinner and she said “not a burned quesadilla” bc in the summer of 2019 I overcooked one side of her quesadilla
— todd dillard (@toddedillard) March 3, 2021
#6 Truth…
— Becky Vieira | Witty Otter (@wittyotter_) October 5, 2019Raising kids is like being constantly surrounded by a tiny sales team.
They’re always trying to persuade you into doing or buying something. And they assume everything you say is just an opening offer.
#7 Parenthood in a nutshell…
Legend states that when you’re overwhelmed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear to tell you that you cut their sandwich wrong
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) May 28, 2022
#8 I mean, do you even want to know??
I just watched my son get a knot out of his shoelace with the tine of a fork and then put it back in the silverware drawer and OMG! HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS?!
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 11, 2022
#9 I did not realize the pivotal role snacks would play in raising kids…
Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and as you struggle to get up someone asks you for a snack
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 5, 2022
#10 Payback…
Someday, God willing, I will attend my children’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 17, 2022
#11 Exactly!
Driving home with my kids & my son didn’t like the song I was listening to. He said, “Thank God we’re 10 seconds from home!” & then I took the long way home because that’s what parents do.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 11, 2022
#12 “Pet ice cube” LOL…
Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 18, 2022
#13 As someone who has worked at preschools, I can verify this is true…
Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018
#14 Just another day in life with toddlers…
I accidentally flushed the toilet instead of letting my kid do it which in the toddler community is a crime punishable by death.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 3, 2019
#15 Ouch!
5 asked me if I’ve ever been to jail and when I said no, she said “wow, not even for your cooking?”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 26, 2022
#16 Or a new husband!
My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 2, 2022
#17 We all know a kid like this…
Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 19, 2019
#18 And God forbid one half is bigger than the other…
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2015Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half.
An M&M.
In half.
#19 Teenagers are so much fun…
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 11, 2021My daughter went back to college today and I texted her that I missed her so much and she texted back 2.5 hours later, “Yes.” Then, “Sorry, that wasn’t for you.”
I WAS IN LABOR FOR 14 HOURS
#20 That would make for an interesting Christmas morning LOL…
I swear to God, from now until Christmas, every time one of my kids leaves an empty box in the freezer, or pantry, I'm going to take it out, wrap it, and put it under the Christmas tree with their name on it.
— Jax Persists (@LadyJayPersists) September 27, 2022
#21 And finally, this mom who was REALLY fed up LOL…
![21 Hilariously Relatable Tweets From Parents Who Have Had Enough (1) 21 Hilariously Relatable Tweets From Parents Who Have Had Enough (1)](https://i0.wp.com/www.imightbefunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/funny-parents-211.jpg)
Got a minute to stick around? Have some laughs with “20 Hilarious Tweets About People Who Make No Apologies”
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Janene